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$SNE, MASSIVE DOUBLE DICK INSIDE. Poised to moon long-term (Computer vision boom, EV boom, autonomous driving tech, gaming boom, music streaming boom, cross-media IP, vertically integrated anime streaming monopoly, online medical services boom, shift to mirrorless cameras)
Listen up retards. Do you happen to feel regret because you always think “ohhh if I yoloed my savings on TSLA/AMD/NVDA 🚀 leaps years ago I could be rich by now!!!” Well if you didn't know already, it doesn’t really matter what happened in the past. Hindsight will always be 20/20. You shouldn’t be harsh on yourself on your past self that your past self wasn’t retarded enough to yolo their savings into AMD/TSLA/.... Your past self doesn’t have the same knowledge that your current self has. It’s fine. If you judged those stocks with the best DD you could do at the time and didn’t think they were worth it, then you did a good job. If you always think about what you could/should have done in the past, then you don't have the right attitude to play the stock market casino imho. The single most important thing is to be able to look ahead. There are always plenty of opportunities around. There are thousands of rockets that are still on earth right now. Some may depart this year, others will stay a little longer on earth. The true strength lies in being able to identify those rockets with the knowledge you have right now. And if you still miss most rockets that will take-off this year that's fine, maybe you'll learn, get better and you'll do better next year. Now, what if I told you there’s a big rocket that’s parked right right here on earth and it has decent chance for take-off this year? Maybe it won't quite reach the moon this year yet, but hey leaving the exosphere should already be a cool milestone. It has rock-solid fundamentals and will see lots of growth in the following years/decade. It’s a company that has the fundamental technology to power all the computer vision tech, which is bound to boom this decade. The company we’re talking about is of course Sony, and it is extremely undervalued right now. Its P/E is only 14. They have a P/S of 1.65, a PEG of 0.92 (< 2 is already somewhat exceptional for a company/conglomerate of Sony’s size, under 1 is a steal) Much lower than all of its same-sector peers. This indicates significant undervaluation. Next up Sony has a P/CF 13.2, ROE of 20% (S&P 500 average is 14% which would already be considered pretty good. 20% ROE is excellent), PEGY of 0.89, P/B of 2.65 and finally Sony has $41.6B in cash on hand. This makes Sony one of the cheapest tech/entertainment/EV/semiconductor growth stocks you will find on the market. (ROE of 20% + PEGY of 0.89 + PEG of 0.92 means this company is a growth stock based on the numbers alone, but we’ll dig into the actual company and overall outlook in a moment) I challenge all retards to find a company with similar benchmarks in one of the mentioned sectors, seriously. Quite frankly doing this DD honestly blew my mind. I kept looking everywhere for reasons why the company could be so undervalued and why they may struggle in the future. Very important to look at all the challenges the company faces to make sure I’m not just doing confirmation bias DD. But all I could find was the opposite. After several weeks and months of working on this DD, I can only conclude that it is overall a very solid company for a bargain price. The new CEO is taking the company in a great direction imho and I'm begin to think he could be Sony's Satya Nadella. So if you want some easy tendies, maybe consider $SNE while it is still cheap, I’d say. For the autists out there who care about analyst ratings, SONY ($SNE) currently has 18 BUY ratings, 2 OVERWEIGHT, 4 HOLD and 0 SELL. (= analyst consensus is a STRONG BUY). Very little analysts cover this stock compared to other entertainment/tech companies, so this adds to my assertion that the stock is very much under the radar. Which means you have time to get in before it gets noticed by the larger investing world and before it starts to get a more fair valuation (P/E of around 30 would be more fair for this company I think, but still cheaper than many same sector peers). But, anyway the few analysts who do happen to cover this company are basically all saying it’s an instant-buy at its current price. Most boomer investors still think big Japanese tech companies are dinosaurs that have long been surpassed by China, South Korea and Apple etc ages ago. Young boomers may think Sony = PlayStation and that it's it. But the truth is that PlayStation, while very important (about 24% of Sony's total revenue last year), is a part of a larger story. Lots of investors in general associate Sony with the passé Japanese electronics companies from the 80’s and the 90’s. Just like a lot people may think BlackBerry is a struggling phone company. While Sony may not be the powerhouse in consumer electronics it was in the 80’s and the 90’s, in a lot of ways they are more relevant than ever before. Despite being a well-known brand and being known as the company behind PlayStation, for some reason its stock still seems to be under the radar among both retail and institutional investors. And boy, are they mind-blowingly undervalued. Even if a big part of its business would collapse tomorrow, they would still be slightly undervalued. And I am about to tell you why. (& btw compared to Japanese tech/entertainment stocks $SNE is still super cheap (Canon, Nikon, Toshiba, Sharp, Panasonic, Square Enix, Capcom, Nintendo, Fujitsu all have P/E ratios ranging from 18 to 77 and none of them have the combination of global clout, fundamentals & growth prospects that Sony has)) 2021 Sony as a corparation is not the fucking Sony from 2005-2015’s, just like BlackBerry in 2021 is not the fucking Blackberry from 2012. Just like Garmin in 2021 is not Garmin from 2011. Just like AMD in 2021 is not AMD from 2012. No, in 2021, Sony is the global leader in imaging technology and people do not fucking realize it. Sony has 50% marketshare in the CMOS image sensor market. There’s a very good chance the smartphone in your pocket has Sony image sensors (unless it’s a Samsung phone). Sony image sensors are powering a big part of today's vision/camera technology. And they will power even more of tomorrow's computer vision tech. In 2021, Sony is a behemoth in video games, music, anime, movies and TV show production. Sony is present in every segment of entertainment. Sony’s entertainment branches have been doing great business over the past 5 years, especially music and PlayStation. Additionally, Sony Pictures has completely turned around. In 2021, Sony is the world’s biggest music publisher (and second biggest music company overall). Music streaming has been a boon for Sony Music and will continue to be. In 2021, Sony is among the biggest mobile gaming companies in the world (yes, you read that right). And it’s mainly thanks to one game (Fate/Grand Order) that nets them over $1B revenue each year. One of the biggest mobile gaming companies + arguably biggest gaming brand in the world (PlayStation). In 2021, Sony is an EV company. They surprised the world when they revealed their “Vision-S” at CES 2020. At the reception was fantastic. It is seriously one of the best looking EV’s. They already sell sensors to Toyota. Sony will most like sell the Vision-S's tech to other car manufacturers (sensors for driving assistence / autonomous driving, LiDAR tech, infotainment system). 40 sensors in the Sony Vision-S Considering the overwhelmingly good reception of the Vision-S so far, I suspect the Vision-S could be another catalyst that will put Sony as a company on the radar of investors and consumers. We've seen insane investment hype for anything even remotely related to EV over the past year. We've seen a company that barely had a few EV design concepts (oh wait, they had a gravity-powered truck though) even get a $30B market cap at some point lmao. But somehow a profitable company ($SNE) that has an EV that you can actually drive, doesn't even have a fair valuation? In 2020’s Sony’s brand value is at their highest point since 12 years. In 2021, it is projected to be a its highest point since 2001 assuming same growth as average yearly growth from 2015 to 2020. Keep in mind brand valuation is a bit bullshitty as there’s no standardization to compare brands from different sectors, let alone non-consumer-facing brands with consumer-facing brands. But one thing we can note is that Sony both as B2C brand and as a B2B company is on a big upwards trend. https://interbrand.com/best-global-brands/sony/ https://careers.uw.edu/blog/2020/03/17/these-are-the-10-biggest-video-game-companies-in-north-america-shared-article-from-zippia/ In 2021, Sony is an entertainment behemoth. They have grown their entertainment branches by a huge amount over the past 5 to 10 years (they made some big acquisitions in the music space especially and they’re now also all-in in anime). I don’t think people realize how big Sony is as an entertainment company. I dug up the numbers and as of Q3 2020, PlayStation is the second biggest video game company in the world (Tencent is #1) in revenue (I suspect Sony might dethrone Tencent after Sony’s FY Q3 2020 is released). But Sony already comes very close to Tencent especially if you add Fate/Grand Order (which is under Sony Music and not under PlayStation) under PlayStation. There’s no single other company that has this unique combination of a dominant/important position in all entertainment segments. (video games + music + movies + TV series + anime + TV networks). I guess Tencent maybe? In 2021, Sony has amazing momentum in the camera space. If you’re familiar with the enthusiast photography space, you should know this. Basically, the market is slowly shifting from SLR to mirrorless cameras. This is because mirrorless cameras tend to smallelighter, have faster AF, better low light performance, better battery life and better video performance. Sony is the company that has been specializing in the development for mirrorless cameras for over a decade while Canon’s bread and butter has always been SLR cameras. Sony is in the lead when it comes to mirrorless cameras and that’s where the market is shifting towards. Because the advantages of mirrorless have become more and more apparent and Sony’s cameras have become technically superior, Sony has gained quite a bit of market share over Canon and Nikon in the last few years. In 2019, Sony overtook Nikon as the #2 camera manufacturer. Sony is in an upwards trend here. (they have the ambition to become the world’s #1 camera brand) Sony also has very good marketing for their cameras. (Sony has a lot of YouTubers / influencers / brand ambassadors for their cameras despite being a smaller brand than Canon) (just search on YouTube and/or Google “switching to Sony from Canon” just to give you an idea that they do have amazing brand momentum in the camera space. You won’t get as many hits for the opposite) A huge portion of Sony’s profit comes from image sensors in addition to music and video games. This is in addition to their highly profitable financial holdings division & their more moderately profitable electronics division. Sony’s electronics division, unlike other Japanese brands, has shown great resilience against the very strong competition from China & South Korea. They have been able to maintain their position in the audio space and as of 2020 are still the global market leader in high-end TV’s (a position they have been holding for decades) and it seems they will continue to be able to maintain that. But seriously this company is dirt-cheap compared to any of its peers in any segment and there’s various huge growth prospects for Sony:
CMOS image sensors & Sony’s overall imaging prowess will boom due to increased demand from automotive sector, security & surveillance industry, manufacturing industry, medical sector and finally from the aerospace & defence industry. On the longer term, image sensors will continue to boom due to increased demand for computer vision & AI + robotics. And for consumer electronics demand will remain very high obviously.
Sony is aiming for 60% market share in the CMOS image sensor market by 2026. Biggest threat here is Samsung here who have recently started to aggressively invest in image sensors and are challenging Sony. Sony has technological lead + higher production capacity (and Sony will soon open a new plant in Nagasaki), so Sony should be able to hold off Samsung.
The iPhone 12 Pro has 3 cameras + a lidar sensor. Apple now buys 3 image sensors (from Sony) + LiDAR sensor (from Sony) per iPhone 12 Pro they manufacture. Remember the iPhone X and iPhone XS? That one had “only” 2 rear cameras (with image sensos from Sony of course). Basically, Sony will be selling exponentially more image sensors as more smartphones get equipped with more and more cameras.
Now think about how many image sensors Sony can sell to Apple if the iPhone 13 will have 5 cameras + LiDAR sensor (I mean the number of cameras on smartphones certainly won’t decrease)
Gaming (PS5 hype, PSN game sales are booming, add-on content is booming, PS+ subscribers count is booming and finally PSNow & first-party games sales are trending upwards as well). Very consistent year-on-year profit & revenue growth here. They have a history of beating earnings expectations here. The number of PS+ subscribers went from 4M to 48M in just 6-7 years. Investors love to hype up recurring revenue and subscription services such as Disney+ and Netflix. Let’s apply the same logic to PS+? PS+ already has more subscribers than HBO Max in the USA.
PlayStation (video games in general) has not even scratched the fucking surface. Most people who play video games now are millennials and kids. Do you think those millennials will stop playing video games when they grow older? No, of course not. Boomers today also still watch movies and TV. Those millennials have kids and those kids are now also playing video games. The kids of those kids will also play video games etc. Basically the total addressable audience for video games will by HUGE by the end of the decade (and the decades after that) because video games will have penetrated all age ranges of the population. Gaming is the fastest growing segment of the whole entertainment business. By a large margin. PlayStation is obviously in a great position here as you can guess from the PS5 hype, but more importantly imho, the growth of PS+ subscribers (currently a bit under 50 million) and PSN users (>100 million MAU) over the past 5 years shows that PlayStation is primed to profit from the audience growth.
On top of that you have huge video game growth in the China where Sony & PlayStation is already much better established than Xbox (but still super small compared to mobile games and PC gaming in China). Within the console market, Xbox only competes with PlayStation in North America. In the rest of the world, PlayStation has an enormous lead over Xbox. Xbox is simply a lesser known and lesser desirable brand in the rest of the world
Anime streaming (basically they have a monopoly already + vertical integration, it might still be somewhat niche right now, but it will be big within 5 years. Acquiring Crunchyroll was a very good move)
Music streaming (no, they don’t have a music streaming service, but as music streaming grows, Sony Music also gets a piece of the growing pie through licensing/royalties, and they also still have a little 2.8% stake in Spotify)
Apple, Amazon, Netflix, AT&T and Disney are currently battling it out in the streaming wars. When there’s a war you have little chances of winning, you shouldn’t be the one waging the war. You should be the one selling the ammo. Basically Sony Pictures (tv shows + movies) is in that position. Sony Pictures can negotiate good prices for their content because Apple, Amazon, Netflix, AT&T are thirsty for content and they all want their own exclusive content. Sony Pictures does not need to prop up their own streaming service just like Sony Music doesn’t need their own music streaming service when they can just license out their content and turn a profit. There will always be demand for TV & movies content, so Sony Pictures is well positioned is as an independent content provider. And while Apple, Amazon, Netflix, AT&T and Disney are battling it out on the forefront, Sony is quietly building their anime empire in the background. Genius business move from Sony here, seriously. They now have anime production & distribution.
Netflix has 200M subscribers and they currently have a 250M market cap. Think about what Sony will have in 5 years? >30M Crunchyroll subscribers (assuming all anime will be consolidated into Crunhyroll) & >100M PS+ & PSNow subscribers? Anime and gaming is growing faster than movies and TV shows. (9% CAGR for anime, 12% CAGR for gaming vs. 5% CAGR for the whole movies & TV show entertainment segment which includes PVOD, SVOD, box office, TV etc etc). And gaming as a whole is MUCH bigger than SVOD streaming. Netflix gets 99% of their revenue & profit through subscriptions. For the whole Sony Group Corporation, their subscription services (games + anime) it’s currently only 4.5% of their total revenue. And somehow Sony currently has a meagre $128B market cap?
PlayStation alone is bigger than Netflix in terms of operating profit. PlayStation has a MUCH higher profit margin than Netflix. For Q3 2020 Netflix posted $790M operating profit and PlayStation posted $988M operating profit. Revenue was was $6.44B for Netflix vs. $4.77B for PlayStation. (and btw Sony’s mobile gaming revenue (~$1B / year) is under Sony Music, it is not even in those PlayStation numbers!!!)
Think about it. PlayStation alone posts bigger operating profit than Netflix (yes revenue is bit smaller, but it’s the operating profit that matters most). And gaming is growing faster than movies. And PlayStation is about 24% of Sony’s total revenue. And yet Netflix has a market cap that is equal to the double of Sony's market cap? Basically If you apply Netflix’ valuation to PlayStation then PlayStation alone should have a bigger market cap than Netflix' market cap.
Sony Vision-S & autonomous driving tech (selling sensors + infotainment system to other car manufacturers). Sony surprised everyone when they revealed their Sony Vision-S electric vehicle last year at CES 2020 (in-house design and made in cooperation with Magna Steyr). And it’s currently being tested on public roads. Over the past year we have seen absurdly big investment hype into anything even remotely related to EV’s (including a few questionable companies). We’ve even seen an EV company with a gravity-powered truck get a $30B market cap in June last year. Meanwhile Sony, out of nowhere, revealed what is arguably (subjectively) one of the best looking EV’s. It got very positive reception at CES 2020. An EV that you can actually drive. But somehow their stock is still dirt-cheap based on their current fundamentals alone? Yet some companies that had pretty much nothing but some EV design concepts got insane valuations purely due to hype?
LTE chips for IoT & Industry 4.0 (Altair Semiconductors)
Cross-media IP (The Last of Us show on HBO, Uncharted movie etc). Huge unrealized potential synergy here (it’s about to change). We have seen that it can turn out super well when you look at The Witcher, Sonic the Hedgehog and Detective Pikachu. When The Witcher released on Netflix, sales of The Witcher 3 significantly increased again. Imagine the same thing, but with Sony IP’s. Sony Pictures is currently working on 7 video game IP based TV shows and 3 movies. We know The Last of Us tv series is currently in production for HBO. And then the Uncharted is currently in post-production and scheduled to be released in July this year currently. If Uncharted turns out to be successful, it will mark a big, new milestone for Sony as an entertainment company imho.
Aniplex (Sony Music Entertainment Japan subsidiary for anime production, distribution & mobile games) had a fantastic year in 2020. (more on this later) There is a lot of room for mobile games growth with Aniplex. Thanks to Aniplex, Sony might beat their earnings forecast.
Drones. DJI just got put on Entity List in USA and Sony started developing drones for prosumer / professional a few years ago. Big opportunity for Sony here to take a bit from DJI’s dominance. It only makes sense for Sony to enter the drone market targeting the professional & prosumer video market, considering Sony’s established position in the professional audio/video/photography space
Currently Sony also has several ventures & investments in AI & robotics
Over the past decade, Sony has also carefully expanded into medical equipment tech & biotechnology. Worth noting that Sony also has an important 33% stake in M3 inc (a medical services through-the-internet company with a market cap of $65.5B) (= just their stake in M3 Inc is worth $22B alone, remember Sony, with their large, diversified revenue streams & assets only has a market cap of $128B?)
Sony Pictures has a great upcoming movie slate (MCU Spider-Man, Uncharted, Ghostbusters: Afterlife, Venom 2, Morbius, Spider-Verse sequel, Hotel Transylvania 4, Peter Rabbit 2, Vivo, The Nightingale). They will profit from the theatre reopening and covid recovery. They may even become more favourable among movie theatre chains because they won’t release their movies on the same day on streaming services like Warner (and yeah movie theatres are here to stay, at least for a while imho)
All the above comes on top of established, mature markets (Financial Holdings & Electronic Products)
Oh yeah, btw though TV’s are a cyclical and mature market and are not that important for Sony Group Corporation’s bottomline*, Sony TV’s will continue to do well for the following successive years: o 2020: continued pandemic boost
2020-2021: PS5 / Xbox Series X/S
2021 Summer Olympics (tv sales ALWAYS spike during the olympics) (& the effect is more pronounced for high-end TV’s, = good for Sony because Sony’s market share is concentrated in the high-end range (they are market leader in the high-end range)
2022 FIFA world cup (exact same thing as for the olympics)
You could say it’s already priced in, but the stock is already ridiculously undervalued so idk…
You would think this company somehow has a bad outlook, but that could not be further from the true, let me explain and go over some of the different divisions and explain why they will moon: Sony Entertainment While Netflix, Disney, AT&T, Amazon, and Apple are waging the great streaming war, Sony has been quietly building its anime streaming empire over the past years.
Sony recently acquired Crunchyroll for $1.175B (it is a great deal for Sony imho and will immediately be more valuable under Sony. Considering the growing appetite for anime I honestly do not even understand why AT&T sold it, they could have integrated it with their other streaming service (HBO Max) but ok)
With Crunchyroll Sony now has the following anime empire:
Aniplex (anime production & distribution, subsidiary of Sony Music Entertainment Japan) F
Funimation
Manga Entertainment UK (production, licensing, and distribution, UK)
Wakanam (licensing and distribution in Europe)
AnimeLab (licensing and distribution in Australia & New Zealand)
Crunchyroll (3 million paying subcribers, 90 million registered users and 50 million social media followers)
* Why anime matters: Anime growth “The global size is expected to reach USD 36.26 billion by 2025, registering a CAGR of 8.8% over the forecast period, according to a study conducted by Grand View Research, Inc. Growing popularity and sales of Japanese anime content across the globe apart from Japan is driving the growth” (tl;dr anime 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀, Sony is all in on anime and they have pretty much no competition) Anime is the fastest growing subsegment of movies/video entertainment worldwide.
Sony also has a partnership with Bilibili for anime distribution in China:
Bilibili already partnered with Sony Music Entertainment Japan to bring Aniplex’s hugely successful Aniplex’s Fate/Grand Order mobile game in China.
Sony acquired a 5% stake in Bilibili for $400M in March 2020 (that 5% stake is now already worth $2.33B at Bilibili’s current share price ($BILI) and imho $BILI still has lots of upside potential considering it is the de facto video creation/sharing/viewing à la YouTube/Twitch for GenZ in China)
Sony Music (mobile games) generated $400M revenue from its mobile games in Q2 FY2020, published through Aniplex (Sony Music Entertainment Japan, “SMEJ”) subsidiary
They are the publisher of Fate/Grand Order, one of the most profitable mobile video games of the past 5 years (has generated $4B in revenue (!!) by the end of 2019 and is still as popular as ever). Fate/Grand order is the 7th most profitable mobile game in revenue worldwide as of 2020 (!)
Aniplex launched Disney: Twisted Wonderland in March this year. In Q3, it was the #10 most downloaded mobile game in Japan. (Aniplex now has two top ten games in Japan)
Fate/Grand Order was the #2 most tweeted game in 2020 and #3 was Disney: Twisted Wonderland. You can see that Aniplex has two hugely successful mobile games. (we are talking close to $1B of revenue a year here). It is the #2 game in Japan by total revenue from Q1 2016 to Q3 2020 and the #9 game in worldwide revenue from Q1 2020 to Q3 2020.
SMEJ earns about > $1B from mobile games in revenue from mobile games and there is still a lot of future growth potential here considering Japan’s mobile game market grew a whopping 32% yoy from Q3 2019 to Q3 2020.
Aniplex recently co-distrubuted the movie Demon Slayer: Mugen Train in Japan in October 2020. It became the highest grossing film of all time in Japan with a total gross box office revenue of $380M. In the middle of a pandemic. It still needs to release in South Korea, China and USA where it will most likely do great as well.
Sony Interactive Entertainment (SIE) (Game & Netwerk Services business unit):
We all know 2020 was a huge year for video games with the stay-at-home pandemic boost. The whole video game sector brought in $180B of revenue in 2020, a whopping 20% increase yoy.
But 2020 will not be just a one-off temporary exceptional year for video games. The video game market has a CAGR of 13% which means it will be worth $291B in 2027. Video games is by far the segment with the highest growth rate in the whole entertainment industry.
PlayStation obviously has a huge piece of this pie and over the past years has seen consistent yoy revenue and profit growth. Think about it, for every FIFA/Call of Duty/Assassin’s Creed sold on PS4/PS5, Sony gets a 30% cut. There have been sold a billion PS4 games so far.
5 years ago 20 to 30% of PS4 games were purchased digitally. Flashforward to 2020 and it’s 60-75% and the digital ratio looks set to still increase a bit. This means higher profit margin for game publishers and for Sony at the expense of retailers
SIE has seen huge success in its first-party games over the past 5 years. Spider-Man, God of War, Horizon: Zero Dawn, The Last of Us Part 2, Uncharted 4, Ghost of Tsushima, Days Gone, Ratchet & Clank have all been huge successes. This is really big and represents a big change compared to the previous generations where Sony never really hit it big as a games publisher even though most of their games were considered quality games.
SIE is now not only a powerful platform holdeprovider, but also a very successful games publisher with popular IP’s (Uncharted, God of War, The Last of Us, Horizon, Ghost of Tsushima, Ratchet & Clank). This is an enormous asset, because firstly it increases the chances of success for cross-media opportunities (Sony Pictures can make TV shows and movies out of it to expand the popularity of those IP’s even more). And secondly, it is an obvious selling point for PS5. The more popular and bigger their exclusive content, the more they can draw people to their platform/service. This should increases PS5 total marketshare over its competitor.
The hype for God of War: Ragnarok will be absolutely through the roof. Hype for Horizon: Forbidden West is also very good already (10 million yt views, 273K likes which is very good). Gran Turismo 7 and Ratchet & Clank will also do very well in 2021. (I suspect that GoW oand Horizon might be delayed to 2022)
PS5 reception has been extremely good. Demand is through the roof as well all know. The only problem is that they cannot quite capitalize on the demand due to lack of supply, but overall, it is a very good thing that demand is very high, and that reception has been very positive. The challenge will primarily supply and production-related for the following 6 months and to be able to maintain brand momentum. Hopefully, they won’t push disappointed/inpatient customers to competitors.
Considering there’s backwards compatibility from PS4 to PS5, users will want all their PSN content to transition with them as well, so I expect them to lose very little marketshare to Xbox. Also, I do not know if Americans realize it, but Xbox is not nearly as big as PlayStation in the rest of the world as it is in the USA. PlayStation just has global brand power that Xbox just doesn’t have, so Xbox isn’t much of threat at all I’d say. Where I live, in Belgium, In Europe everyone is talking about the PS5, nobody really seems to care about Xbox Series S/X that much. Comparing PlayStation to Xbox in terms of mindshare is like comparing Apple to Motorola (not meant to be a diss to Motorola, I have a Motorola phone myself, just saying that Xbox has significantly less mindshare / brand power in Europe).
SIE is likely working on PSVR 2, this could be big.
Sony has a small stake in Epic Games (1.4%) and they have a good business relationship with them, so this might also make them open to release first-party games on Epic Games Store after exclusivity period on PS5.
Remember the Travis Scott concert in Fortnite? I believe that was one of the reasons why Sony invested in Epic Games. It serves as an example how music can sometimes converge with video games, and this can play to Sony’s strengths.
PlayStation also has way superior presence in Asia compared to Xbox. Have been expanding into China as well. Another great opportunity for revenue growth.
PS+ subscribers grew from 5.7 million by the end of 2013 to 46 million by October 30th, 2020. This is an average growth rate of 28% over the past 5 years. Considering most of the growth was early on, it will slow down, but I predict that they will have about 70 million PS+ subscribers by the end of 2023. This is huge and represents a stable, recurring source of income. Investors who keep hyping Netflix/Disney+ will love this, but it seems they have yet to discover $SNE.
There is a reason why Amazon, Google, Nvidia have been aggressively investing in video games & games streaming. They know the business is huge and is about to get even bigger. But considering the established, loyal PlayStation userbase, the established global brand of PlayStation and the exclusive games, PlayStation should be able to easily standoff competition from Amazon, Google and Nvidia (GeForce Now) in the next few years. So far, Amazon’s venture into game development, publishing & streaming has completely failed. Stadia and GeForceNow seem to have a bit more success, but still relatively niche. Therefore, I think PlayStation is well-positioned to remain one of the leaders in the industry for the following decade.
I'll get to the other divisions later, I figured this is a good first step. But so far the tl;dr Image sensors: 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀 IoT/Industry 4.0 chipsets: 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀 PS5/PSN/PS+: 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀 Online medical services (M3 inc.): 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀 Anime: 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀 Fate/Grand Order: 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀 Demon Slayer: Mugen Train 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀 Sony Music / music streaming (the performance of Sony Music’s in Sony’s business is seriously understated. The numbers speak for themselves): 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀 Sony Electronics 🚀 Sony Financial Holdings (very stable & profitable business, even managed to grow slightly during pandemic when most insurance companies performed more poorly): 🚀🚀🚀 Still have to cover Sony Pictures, but their upcoming movie slate looks pretty good honestly (Spider-Man sequel, Venom: Let There Be Darkness, Ghostbusters: Afterlife, Uncharted, Morbius, Hotel Transylvania 4 so that's worth one rocket as well imho 🚀 tl;dr of tl;dr: 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀 Disclaimer: I am not a financial advisor. I am an idiot that's trying to understand why $SNE stock is so cheap. Positions: SNE 105C 21st January 22
Tyler Blacksmith (The main antagonist of the game). Tyler was a world famous black metal artist and a secret gang leader who serves as the main antagonist of Dead Rising 5. He started the outbreak with a Terrorist Militia organization Ortiz of destruction's leader Pete Harris by releasing the zombies to the cities with the help of his minions. Looks: Black Metal Hair, Mayhem's Dawn of the black hearts shirt, Black Metal face paint, Black bondage jeans with a lot of chains and long boots with chains. Weapon. The Black Society (guitar+scythe). Location. Fortune City Arena. Theme. Cannibal Corpse Evisceration Plague. Intro: When Chuck entered the Arena once again after he saw his battle against TK in the screens. After that it changed to a black metal skull image. Chuck was confused that gang members started to attack him (Which you battle first before Tyler appears). After few of the members were killed. Tyler will appear from the ceiling and he will jump down on a trampoline that lunges him on the ring that he lands on. Tyler explained to Chuck that he was the one behind the outbreak and that he released the zombies from phenotrans. Tyler will than attack Chuck after saying the phrase ''Now Let's Fade You To The Rushing Shadows In Black''. Death: After Chuck defeats Tyler. he stumbled on some objects on the way and warning Chuck about people kidnapping his 9 year old daughter Katey and dies after first being impaled by his weapon and head getting crushed by the Crane's arm. As Chuck drops on his knees and starts to scream for victory.
CJ Morrison. CJ was a silent insane African-American butcher who took the outbreak as a chance to make ''THE BEST MEAT IN THE WORLD'' and also to murder Chuck Greene and making him his own Meat. Looks. Short Dreads, Tattoos, Big Beard, Black Bloody Butcher Clothes and Black Boots. Weapon. Meat Cleaver. Location. Food Court's Modified Hamburger Fiefdom. Theme. Zardonic Bring It On. Intro: Chuck enters the hamburger fiefdom. But it was changed somehow. There was tables blocking the entrance but Chuck was able to get through and it had a hole that was bloody. As Chuck peaked at it he noticed that it had blades that can only be jammed with a weapon and the body will stay there stuck. As a Butcher came and screamed and he swinged his meat cleaver and did not say a word until he attacked Chuck. Death: CJ stumbled on the treadmill and had no idea and what it was but he thought it was a roller coaster that you go by head first until Chuck screamed 'Well Get In The Hole' and turned on the grinder and the only words CJ said was ''Oh Shit, CJ Morrison is down in hell''. His beard pulls him in and he screamed as his head gets sliced and he accidentally jams it with his meat cleaver and Chuck says the word 'May medieval be your grave' and left the area.
Ricky Frank. Ricky 'Rick' Frank is a shop owner and world famous auctioneer who never fails at his job (Much like Carl Schliff from Dead Rising 2). He went insane during the outbreak. And thinks that selling items like human heads, saws, cars, treasures, human flesh, hanged corpses, more corpses and combo weapons would be a great chance to earn money by believing that surviors are bidders (turned victims) and zombies are not bidders. Looks: Brown Goatee, Light Brown Ponytail Hair, Red Button Shirt, Blue Jeans, Black Trilby and Yellow Sneakers. Weapon: Money Maker (Knife + Six Shooter). Location: Still Creek town. Theme: Celldweller - I Believe You. Intro: Chuck was walking in the town of Still Creek where he had some good memories. As he had some flashbacks when he was fighting Jed in the Junkyard he heard someone saying '1.56 Dollars on a human liver'. Chuck had no idea what was going on in still creek. Until he saw a man doing bets on items that were human parts and other useful items. As Chuck said 'Hey there is a zombie outbreak Mister.' And the man saw him and introduced himself 'Oh hey there sir. The name's Ricky Frank.... And yours.' And chuck recognized who that Ricky was. Ricky was a auctioneer who never failed anytime in his career. He was so famous that Chuck hated him because of his jealousy of his non-failing. Chuck just said that there are not suppose to be bets due to the zombie outbreak. Chuck said 'The name's Chuck Greene and i will kick your ASS' and Chuck punched Rick right in the face and Ricky punched back and took his weapon and said 'How's this Money Maker for your bet kid' And Chuck got back up and raised his fists meaning for battle and he said 'Wanna go Mr Fat Rick' and silently as Rick looked down. He said 'Let's Dance Player'. Death: After Chuck defeats Ricky. Rick stumbled on a stack of cars and informing Chuck that all the combo weapons are his and Chuck and Rick took the weapons on his truck than Chuck kicked Ricky on his head until Rick landed on a rotating saw blade and getting his head sliced in half as he screams in pain and when his head was cut in half and he stopped screaming Chuck says the word 'May bets bid your bidding' and drove back to fortune city.
Mick O'Neal. Mick O'neal was a abusive alcoholic from Canada who pretty much enjoys drinking beer.. After he noticed the Outbreak broke out he didn't care about the outbreak so he just wanted to drink beer and shoot and kill survivors because he was a hillbilly. Looks. Hillbilly Hair and Beard, Tank Top with the Canadian and American flag, unzipped pants, lost 5 teeth, beer belly, boots and military vest. Weapon. Chainsaw. Location. Juggz Bar & Grill. Theme. Celldweller - Narrow Escape. Intro. Chuck Greene was inside the juggz bar and he noticed that the whole place was a mess until he heard someone saying 'HEY *Burp*' And Chuck looked back and he had no idea who he was but he noticed he was abusive. And than the man tells his 'Own Bar' was being a bar fight club before he urinated on a bottle and than he threw the bottle and he just didn't do anything because he didn't care what he did. And than he took his Chainsaw he calls 'Baby' And he than says 'I'm Mick O'Neal and i will kill you for mother CANADA!!!' And attack Chuck. Death. After Chuck defeats Mick. Mick Stumbled and tries to escape but he slipped on his chainsaw and he lands on the ground with a chainsaw through his legs and all of the zombies surround the area and they eat Mick alive as Mick screams in pain as he dies from bleeding.
Oscar Morrison. Oscar Morrison was an exterminator who wanted to spread some gas everywhere on survivors while keeping his holding 10 year old boy Ryan Huntington and 10 year old girl Jillian Kyle hostage. Looks. Long Hair, Spiky Goatee, Blue Exterminator Clothes, Green Protective Glasses and Extermination Equipment. Weapons. Toxic Gas Sprayer And Baseball Bat. Location. Royal Flush Plaza. Theme. Celldweller - The Best It's Gonna Get. Intro. Chuck heard child screaming and the words help and Chuck ran towards Royal Flush Plaza where the scream was heard. And in there he saw two panicking children and a grinning exterminator and Chuck was shocked and screamed at the children ''DON'T WORRY KIDS I'M COMING!!!'' And Chuck kicked him and Oscar landed on his back until Chuck tried to free the kids but Oscar tackled Chuck and said 'That's what you get for attacking Oscar Morrison' and than aimed the exterminator sprayer on the kids as the kids panic and Chuck was able to tackle him and Oscar got sick of Chuck and Attacked Him after he picked up a baseball bat. Death. After Oscar is defeated, he stumbled on the stairs and fell one by one and landed on his back and looked at his gas canisters although mistaking it as a gas mask and giggled and laughed so hard that he said that he would now spray gas everywhere but he didn't have a mask to protect himself. As he put the gas in his mouth thinking it was the mask, he started to cough blood and he said in horror ''W-W-W-WHAT THE HELL. What's Happening To Me???'' and Chuck said in victory ''You injected gas inside of yourself and your gas mask is right here''. As Oscar tried to come up the stairs he just started to bleed from his mouth and than he fell again and a male zombie bit him and he than noticed something. He had grenades and with them he laughed and ending it with the words ''how's this for extermination'' and commits suicide by exploding himself with the grenade until his head and intestines landed on the zombies who ate them and the rope that was holding the Kids on a pipe was releasing and Chuck was able to rescue them before the pipe would even fall on the equipment. Chuck than walked with the children to the safe house.
Donatello Romero. Donatello Romero was an Italian-American mob boss and gangster who ordered his men to kill every survivor in fortune city. He took the outbreak as an opportunity to rob as much stores as possible and doing whatever he wants and keeping fortune city as his own nation which failed miserably. Looks. dark blue business suit, yellow tie, dark blue gangster hat with a yellow ribbon and cigar on his mouth. Weapon. Pistol. Location. South Plaza. Theme. Skillet - Resistance. Intro. Chuck was killing a zombie by snapping it's neck and after he killed the zombie he heard 2 people speaking Italian. As he came closer he saw a business man like 5'11 tall man who he had no idea who he was. The guy's name was Donatello Romero. He was a crime boss and leader of a mafia family and drug cartel called The 'Romero Family'. An Organization who committed crimes in Italy before they moved to the US where their leader Donatello himself became a world famous business man and mafia boss who would slowly commit crimes all over western and southern Europe and little bit in the USA. He ordered his minion to kill whoever is in the his area. As Chuck tackled and threw the minion on the rotating saw (similar to Seymour) killing the minion instantly and Chuck moved the body to the corner after Romero tried to shoot and kill Chuck but he dodged and went hiding from Romero as Romero ordered all of his men to find Chuck. After Chuck killed all of the men Romero than started to shoot, accuse and try to kill Chuck who jumped and climbed on the platform where Romero was standing and where Romero would attack Chuck. Death. After Chuck defeated Don. Chuck accidentally kicks Romero who drops his gun and would fell down the platform and landing on his back and he rolled from platform to platform before landing chest first to a rotating saw and as he screams in pain. he would bleed everywhere and dies on the table as his guts and blood comes everywhere and than a piece of the platform would fall on his head, ultimately decapitating him. It was a brutal death as Chuck looks in horror.
Tom Harrison. Tom Harrison or nicknamed himself the 'Coffee Nightmare' was a barista/serial killer who murdered survivors and military members and collected their heads and placed them all over food court and the next one on his list.... Is Chuck Greene. Looks. Charismatic hair and mustache, butler clothes and bloody apron. Weapon. Exsanguinator And Shotgun. Location. Food Court. Theme. Excision - With You (Sullivan King Remix). Intro. Chuck walks on the food court and discovers decapitated heads everywhere. Chuck was shocked and as he walked and walked and walked he heard a shotgun blast and he ran to get cover and as he hided he saw some sort of butler holding a shotgun and as he went hiding behind the sign of one of the restaurants a survivor ran at the butler asking for help but the butler shoots at the survivor and goes to get a weapon that has a saw blade on the end of a vacuum cleaner and as Chuck was about to save him he butler shoots at Chuck and the butler said 'You would not get in the way of Tom Harrison HA HA HA HA HA'. Tom went to get a machete and his weapon he calls The Exsanguinator and as he put his machete on the victims neck he said 'Deja Vu Kid' and than decapitates the survivor as his body is being sliced and ripped by the exsanguinator. As Chuck accidentally fell and Tom saw him.Tom than walked to him but Chuck was able to counter his machete attack so he threw him away just 2 meters. And Tom took his weapon and he screams and attacks Chuck. Death. After Chuck defeats Tom. Tom stumbled on the wall to wall but he didn't notice his exsanguinator was on. So he than accidentally cut himself as he first cut himself in a machete as his left arm that he just cut plunged into the blades and he screams in pain, he steps on his shot gun and as it fired his legs slipped and his head plunges inside the exsanguinator as he dies immediately. As Chuck says 'Your butlering is over Tommy' as Chuck leaves food court.
Peter Harris. Peter Harris was a dictatoterrorist and the leader of the militia gang called 'Ortiz of destruction' that defends the entrance to the Fortune City Arena. He was born in the Saudi Arabia outskirts before emigrating to the US the same year he was born. He became the only american to become a terrorizing dictator. He serves as the secondary antagonist of the game because he had connections with Tyler Blacksmith's gang by releasing the zombies to Fortune City in order to kill Chuck (Some members of his team is in each area in Fortune City on a mission to Kill Chuck Greene). Looks. US Army Officer with medals and a black peaked cap. Weapons. Pocket Knife and Mercenary Rifle. Location. Outside of the fortune city arena. Theme. Sabaton - Ghost Division. Intro. Chuck was on his way to fortune city arena to stop Tyler until a military terrorist ran at him with a machete and Chuck karate threw him before even the terrorist was swinging it at him and killed him and another terrorist ran at him and Chuck kicked and impaled him. Peter than walked on his podium and speaking with Tyler and they both had an announcement that Fortune City will be known as their kingdom and in the middle of their speech Chuck took a machine gun and opened fire killing everyone as Peter attacks Chuck as Tyler runs inside the arena. Death. When he is defeated. Peter walked to the podium one last time and explains to Chuck that the military is the militia and that they are searching for him. but Chuck than says that he killed them. As of that Peter attacked Chuck only to fail the attack as Chuck kicks him on a military tank arguably firing it on the Door where Tyler entered. Peter however wasn't on the tank. Instead he got impaled through the nose by his pocket knife and his rifle through the abdomen.
Rocky Rumsfeld. Rocky Rumsfeld was a world famous retired boxer, pro wrestler and TIR contestant and current Bodybuilder and Chuck's lifelong childhood friend. He snapped during the outbreak and believed that the outbreak would be a chance to slaughter the zombies and survivors so that he will become a viking. He serves as the enemy turned deuteragonist of the game after you beat him and does appear in each psychopath meeting and cutscenes. Looks. Fur pants, Leather Boots, Eye patch, Long Beard, Viking Helmet and a Fake Scar (formerly) White T-Shirt, Short Hair, Shaved Beard, Black Jeans, Purple TIR Sweater, Black and Purple Shoes and Protective Gloves. Weapons. Battle Axe, Holy Arms and a Modified Motorcycle Shaped Like A Horse. Location. Silver Strip. Theme. Amon Amarth - Guardians Of Asgard. Intro. As Chuck was walking in the silver strip. He saw that he was in an another problem. He heard a motorcycle engine sound approaching him. He noticed that the bike had a horse head tail and seat with armor and one spear. On the seat there was a viking like bodybuilder male with viking like clothes. The guy called himself 'King Odin'. And said he would spill Chuck's blood to Valhalla. He than swinged his axe at Chuck but missed. Chuck than kicked Odin and Odin went into a giant heat seeking rage and attacked Chuck by first hopping on his motorcycle and ride towards him while screaming. Defeat. After Chuck defeats Odin. Odin stumbled on the wall of a restaurant and explains that Odin was not his name in fact his name was Rocky Rumsfeld. Rocky was a skilled retired Motocross Champion, Pro Wrestler and Boxer turned current Bodybuilder... And Chuck's Best Friend since childhood. Chuck and Rocky both hugged each other because they were happy that they reunited so Chuck asked Rocky does he want to investigate the outbreak and since they are Best Friends he accepted.
Brandon Nichols. Brandon Nichols is Chuck's and Rocky's 3rd Friend. He was a Military soldier and SWAT officer and former mercenary and TIR Motocross contestant. He was born in Jamaica before moving to US at the age of 9. And serves as an Enemy turned tritagonist of the game. He also Appears in meetings and cutscenes just like Rocky. Looks. Military Soldier Suit (Formerly) Jamaican Hair, Pink TIR Sweater, Blue Jeans, Blue Tank Top and Brown Shoes. Weapon. Mercenary Rifle. Location. Underground. Theme. Pendulum Mix of Prodigy - Voodoo People. Intro. Rocky and Chuck killed 4 Zombies in the underground but then a military member attacked them for some reason and didn't say a word. Chuck and Rocky knew that they had to get through the guy. Defeat. After Chuck and Rocky beat the solider the soldier stumbled on the wall and he revealed his face. The guy was Brandon Nichols. Brandon is the 3rd best friend of Chuck alongside Rocky. Chuck and Rocky haven't seen Brandon for years ever since Brandon served in the army in Afghanistan. After revealing that it was Brandon the team went to find who was behind the outbreak.
Bobby Sullivan. Bobby Sullivan was a world famous archaeologist and explorer who found 10000 treasures in the world. But he actually was not a archaeological explorer. In fact Bobby was actually a criminally insane mercenary leader who sent his soldiers to kill, torture and torment ancient people. He was in fortune city to steal Poseidon's trident in the Atlantica Casino because he thought some people found the trident underwater and put it on there as a souvenir but little does he know it was just built (He is similar to Donatello Romero since both order their minions to attack the player but both are different, since Don is Italian-American Crime Boss and Crime Family Leader, Bobby is a Mexican-American mercenary and treasure hunter.). Looks. Explorer's Shirt, Pants, Shoes and Backpack. Weapon. Kitchen Knife, Six Shooter. Location. Atlantica Casino. Theme. Blue Stahli - Scrape. Intro: Chuck walked in the Atlantica casino until he heard an order from a person. It was 4 soldiers who took an order from an Explorer trying to get a trident. The guy was named Bobby Sullivan. Sullivan is an american archaeologist and explorer but is actually a criminally insane mercenary who tormented ancient cultural people and stole their treasure and lied to everyone that he found them all by himself. He stole 10000 treasures all over the globe. He saw Chuck and ordered his men to kill him. Chuck was able to kill Bobby's men and Bobby tackled Chuck and took a knife from his backpack. Chuck kicked him away and Bobby ran at Chuck (Ending The Cutscene). Death: After Chuck defeats Bobby. Bobby started swearing in Spanish and than climbed to Poseidon's trident again before Chuck screams that it was built until Bobby realised it was built and screamed ''WAIT A MINUTE THIS IS NOT A TREASURE, IT'S JUST AN OBJECT OH MY GOD WHAT A PENDEJO I AM!!!!'' Bobby fell to the ground almost breaking his back as the trident falls and crushes his head. As Chuck looks and says ''Check the newest Treasure you will find.. in HELL.'' and Leaves the area.
Nikolai Stalin. Nikolai Stalin was a Russian Terrorist and the leader of a terrorist organization who made the zombies. He appears as the minor antagonist of the game. He also has connections to Blacksmith's gang and even the militia. Looks. Russian Hat, Business Suit. Weapon. Tenderizers and Sniper Rifle. Location. Fortune Park. Theme. Newgrounds - Blue Brass Of The Beast. Intro: Chuck was on his way to Tyler Blacksmith's property until his path was blocked by a lot of vehicles on the way with a helipad in the middle and a giant gate in the back. He noticed like a Russian person riding a motorcycle. The man's name was Nikolai Stalin. He was the grandson of Soviet dictator Joseph Stalin. But he was also something else of a leader. He was also a Terrorist who terrorized Northern and Southern America. Nikolai jumped from his motorcycle and attempted to kick Chuck from the Helipad but Chuck countered the hit and karate threw him. This began the battle between Chuck Greene and Nikolai Stalin. Death: When Stalin was defeated he fell from the helipad and landed on a running engine. Nikolai attempted to climb to the helipad and attempted to murder Chuck. However Chuck impaled Nikolai on his weapons and Nikolai realizes that he said his last words ''I Always Wanted You... To Do That.'' And Died and Landed on the engine again after he shot himself in the head with his shotgun. The engine slices his face and devoured his whole face. Chuck than jumps from car to car until he gets through the gate and runs towards Tyler's area where a dictator named Peter Harris and his men were and Tyler's minions were in.
In todays log we will discuss the fluffy’s second most common killer. Humans. But before we do that I would like to explain more of the fluffy’s biology. The nutrition of the fluffy in the Neverglades is actually quite good. They are omnivores believe it or not. Meat does have some vital vitamins that they require to sustain good nutrition. However, they can have a full vegetarian diet and survive, however, their muscles and digestive system will not be up to par. Fluffy’s from the north tend to have lots of diarrhea, that is what happens if their only food source is just milk or just grass. Grass is low in fiber and nutrients compared to other vegetables so it is no wonder northern feral fluffy’s defecation is mostly liquid. In Florida, they can eat pond apples. A very bitter but still nutritious cousin of the apples we know and love. Fluffies don’t seem to mind the bitter taste, however, that is because they are feral. Pond apples were given to domestic fluffies and they rejected it. As ferals they will make the most out of any flavor. Other fruits they can eat are seagrapes, coconuts, and the thousands of orange, lime, and peach trees left over from the farms. Such trees are now spreading all throughout the Neverglades. As for meat, they have 2 main sources. Other fluffies, foals, and insects. They will munch on the countless grasshoppers, ants, beetles, and any other small arthropod. So I guess fluffies are above at least bugs in the food chain, however there are plenty of insects that can eat them if they have large numbers. With such a balanced diet, mares rarely have stillborns or defective foals! Also these Neverglade fluffy fecal matter is solid. Their rear ends still get covered in the stuff however… The Neverglades have countless factions that scour the land. Keep in mind fluffies are biologically programmed to love humans unconditionally. Most feral fluffies have never seen a human and yet they still crave their love. Our drones have caught them murmuring to themselves that they want a “hooman huggies.” Humans are practically mythical gods to them at this point. When they do see one, they will become overjoyed and charge towards them asking for “huggies” and “gib upsies.” The human almost always kills them. After a few foul encounters with a human a fluffy will learn to fear us, unfortunately, they can’t seem to teach other fluffies that lesson. In parenthesis is how their standings are with fluffies, from most friendly to least it goes Loving-neutral-aggressive-hostile. Researchers (Neutral): Us, we do not kill fluffies unless required for an experiment or if we are low on food supplies. Rangers (Aggressive): These are the park Rangers, they are one half invasive species hunter, one half SWAT team. They will kill any python, boar, Nile crocodile, or iguana they come across. As for fluffies, they used to kill on sight, but the fluffy population always seemed to bounce back. They were spending countless dollars on ammo and trying to club a whole herd to death could take hours. And again, the fluffies always bounced back, always. They deemed it pointless unless using them for target practice. Also, they will kill them if bored. (Video plays, it seems to be from a phone) Filming Ranger: Duuuuddee got the ‘nade? A herd off fluffies are running to them in the distance, feint “huggies” and “upsies” can be heard. Other Ranger: Yeah dude! Fuckin’ watch. (Now Shouting) HEY FLUFFS, PLAY WITH BALL! He pulls the pin to the grenade and throws it at the herd. The fluffies shout “yay baww! fank 'ou.” They played with the grenade for only a second before it went off, causing blood, shit, fur, and dead foals to coat the surrounding land. The explosion was followed by the roaring laughter of the Rangers. (Video Ends) Armed with assault rifles and large artillery, the Rangers are also in the Neverglades to stop the Cuban Cartels, Brofluff Cultists, Anarchists, malfunctioning robots, and any other nefarious activity in the Neverglades. [Redacted] Man (Extremely hostile, even to [Redacted]!): [Redacted] Man is [Redacted], im*e#sely da^ng3r&s [Red4c1ed] d0 4OT A9pr0c#----- Squatters (Hostile): Not everyone took kindly to evacuate all land south of Lake Okeechobee order. Many demanded to say, and the governor obliged, however, he warned them that there would be no police force or fire fighters to protect them, or corporations to supply jobs. Over the years many Squatters moved back to the inhabited parts of Florida such as the pan handle after life got too rough. Not only that, many Squatters have been killed by the Cartels, Anarchists, and even panthers and black bears. The Fort of Fort Myers was completely destroyed by [Redacted] Man. Which used to be the largest Squatter stronghold. Now they are sparse and no longer live in large communities, instead they live more of a hermit life. Fluffies are their main source of meat. They will hunt them; such a task is easily done with fluffies prancing to them. But they will also construct traps. The most effective is a Comfortfluffy. Think of it like a scarecrow but opposite. It is human effigy that it is made to attract Fluffies. As they approach the comfortfluffy, the fluffies will try to hug it. At the base of the comfortfluffy is a large mouse trap device hidden under pine needles. Such a device can kill 5 fluffies in 1 activation. (Video starts) A Comfortfluffy is erected in the backyard of an isolated house in a grassland. Around the Comfortfluffy is tan palmfrawns that hide the killing mechanism. There is even a small radio hidden in the chest of the Comfortfluffy playing songs one would hear on Fluffy TV. A small pack of 5 adult fluffies with 2 mares with foals on their backs happily waddle towards the comfortfluffy shouting “huggies!” They begin to nudge the pants of the comfortfluffy and although metal creaking sounds could be heard, the trap does not activate. Then one of the fluffies begins to jump while singing “upsies!” The jump was just the pressure needed to activate the trap. A rusty screech is heard as the trap activates and 4 mouse trap-like bars swing down around the comfortfluffy. The cheers of the fluffies turn to a quick shriek, a loud crack, followed by some meek crying. 3 of the fluffies died on impact, their scull or chest cavity popped like a pimple. The 2 that survived had their hind ends crushed and their entrails shot out their rear. “Big owwies!!!” They meekly cried as the life in them slowly drained. The Foals that got hit by the bars were completely obliterated. The ones that were not hit were completely unscathed, however, they began to cry about everyone taking the “foweba sweepies.” As shadow then looms over them. “Sandra! Were havin’ foal stew tonight!” (Video ends) Cuban Cartels (Hostile): Even after the legalization of marijuana the Cartels did not slow down. They are still quite in business thanks to the ever-growing demand for cocaine, heroin, and opium. The Cartels will make landfall in the Neverglades if the make it past the heavily patrolled Keys Atolls. They even have some bases the Rangers can’t take out unless they get military assistance. The Cartels will actively lure fluffies into their bases. They will put signs featuring happy looking humans with arrows pointing at the base. The fluffies will gladly follow the signs. Once lured into the base the Cartel henchmen will slaughter them for food. Anarchists (Loving to Hostile): True to the definition of their namesake, they have no set rules or governance, and most anarchist groups have no relation to one another. You’ll have the ones who come to the Neverglades to abuse its low surveillance to torture and murder Squatters, other anarchists, and any other poor human that gets in their way. They will of course have their way with any and all fluffies. Then you’ll have the more hippie kind who just want to have a nice little commune away from corporations. These are usually very loving to the fluffies, most wont even hunt them with the amount of vegans they have. However, these communes don’t last long due to attacks from the Cartels, other anarchists, [Redacted] Man, and even large animal attacks. We’ve even witnessed a massive pack of coyotes kill an entire commune. Brofluff Cult (Loving): This all male cult worships some sort of female equine pantheon. Part of their religion is to be subservient to all fluffies. They will come to the Neverglades and build small fluffly sized homes. They will cook countless spaghetti for the fluffies. They will protect the fluffies, even going as far as killing any human who dare hurts a fluffy. However, do note they will… mate… with a mare they call their “fluffu.” They will also breed fluffies in hopes of reincarnating the “Daughters of the Goddesses.” The Rangers will keep a close eye on them, if they make any aggressive move towards other humans the Rangers will rout them. Pirates (Hostile): Basically anarchists that patrol the seas. They will commonly go ashore to restock on fluffies unless the find a drifting boat full of fluffies. Fathers of Freeport (Hostile): Please remember, when I write “hostile” I only mean to fluffies, these men are actually very kind. The name of their faction was dubbed by me, they are simply Bahaman refugees searching for food. After sea level rise the Bahaman government disbanded, taking the upper class with them to live in Florida’s panhandle. The rest of the civilians were left to fend for themselves. Food is now critically short over in the Bahamas. What little land is left can’t grow food and the coral reefs have been overfished to depletion. However, some savvy fisherman have learned about the fluffy situation in Florida. They sail over to the east coast and collect a hulls worth of fluffies to take back to the remnants of their starving country. This particular group I was monitoring always stocks up at an atoll building at Hallandale Reef. This building is completely surrounded by water and somehow stuffed to the gills with fluffies on all dry floors. I was even able to intercept and question the captain of the fishing boat. (Start of transcript) Researcher: So what brought you to Hallandale Reef? Captain: The reefs ova’ by Miami have too many pirates scoutin’ the seas. But here it is close enough to Seminole Territory dat da pirates shy away. Researcher: Has the Seminoles have any qualms with you? Captain: Nah, dey know we mean no harm. We take only the fluffy ones. Dey seem to not care fo’ them. Researcher: Are you afraid this building will run out of fluffies? Captain: (Laughs) No, no, no. Dees tings have many many babs’. If anyting we be doing them a favor and stoppin’ them from ending up like our own home. Researcher: Have any of your men gotten hurt trying to farm these fluffies? Captain: Yes, a greenhorn died. The floors of dis building be covered in shit. Poor greenhorn slipped and fell down stairs. Researcher: I see, have you encountered [Redacted] Man? Captain: Oh no lord Jesus, nonono! We be going now, good day! Researcher: But… Captain: Our hulls are full, and you reminded me of why our people can’t immigrate here, goodbye! And may lord Jesus protect your soul, science man who pokes tings dat need not be pokin’! (End of Transcript) Seminole Tribe (Neutral): A very powerful faction on par with the Rangers when it comes to control in the Neverglades. With the rising waters the Seminoles have lost lots of their ancestral lands and the USA did not grant them any more territory. However, they adapted. Their crowing hotel, the Hard Rock Hotel was a casino and hotel that is shaped like a giant guitar. Now that it is surrounded by water, they modified it to work also as a yacht club and dock. They even built an underwater hotel near it. People from all over the world fly in to West Palm Beach to take a cruise to their establishment. They also rule the area with an iron fist, killing any pirates, cultists, Cartel, or any other undesirables that try to make a footing in their territory. To fluffies, they are indifferent. See them as nothing more as a pest. They will kill any feral fluffy that is found in the halls of their hotels. But for any fluffy roaming the marshes of their territory, they know culling won’t really solve anything, so they let nature take its course. They also breed fluffies for desirable colors and will even have Fluffy Shows where breeders exhibit their fluffy show-pony. Fighters For Florida (Or the FFF) (Neutral to Hostile): With the right permits and go aheads from government bodies, civilians can enter the Neverglades. The FFF is a hunting force of civilians that is organized to hunt invasive species such as pythons, Nile crocs, and any other invasive threat. However, ones hunting for pythons and such do not target fluffies because they know it will make no difference and their reserve ammo is better spent fighting any human threat that tries to harm them. That being said, some… questionably moraled FFF hunters that call themselves “abusers” come to the Neverglades to only torture fluffies to death. Since fluffies are labeled as invasive animals “to be removed by any means necessary” the abusers are 100% in legal right to… “hunt” fluffies in any way they want. That about covers the humans of the Neverglades. Now we shall talk about native fluffavores, aka native animals that can eat adult fluffies. The Black Bear: This animal is an omnivore in which 80% of their diet was vegetation. Not anymore, now their primary food source is fluffies. Because they are easier to hunt then to forage for fruits. If a heard of Fluffies spots one, they will usually shout and panic and try to quickly waddle away. The Black Bear will make chase and usually eat the one that trips, or it will swipe at the slowest one and kill it. Black Bears can even take out a nest by themselves. Even if the fluffies try to hide in a burrow the bears can dig down to them, but they usually go after easier fluffy prey. Black Bears in human ruins have learned that pushing open doors or breaking into boxes, cars, trash cans, and other containers have a good chance of revealing a hiding fluffy. Also note, fluffies also tend to think ALL land animals fear the water like them and will rush into shallow water to escape the black bear. They will then tease the bear, until the bear effortlessly charges into the water and kills them. Panthers: We have talked about the general hunting habits of the panther in log 1, however I’d like to add on the habits of an alpha male panther. Alphas will patrol a large territory and basically kill any animal it does not want in its territory including other male panthers. One alpha has been documented killing 125 fluffies in a mega herd. It only ate 2. Florida Gar: This fish can grow up to 3 meters in length. It used to be a very rare sight this far south in Florida after overfishing from humans. Now, they have made ma huge comeback thanks to the Neverglades low human population and fluffies as a food source. Unlike smaller gar or bass, these fish can eat an adult fluffy. They will glide into the shallows and scoop up a fluffy wading through the water and then use its serpentine body to slither back into the depth all while the fluffy begs to be let go. If the initial bite does not kill it that is. Raptors: Hawks, Eagles, Osprey, Falcons and any large bird that hunts with talons. The red shouldered hawk is very common predator of the skies. “Wingie munstah” as they are called by fluffies are common throughout all habitats and thus Raptors have the largest kill count of fluffies if you don’t count humans. Our camera drones must always use its cloaking device not only to not spook the fluffies, but to hide from raptors. (Video starts) A Red Shouldered Hawk sits on a tall cypress branch as it spots a herd of fluffies waddling into the dried cypress dome. “Fluffy so thiwsty… need some wawas…” They then come across a puddle and joyously begin to drink. That is when the hawk makes its move. It glides down under the branches and before the fluffies can even cry out in warning. The hawk snatches up a small adult fluffy, as it flies the fluffy shits on everything below. The hawk waits for it to stop shitting and carries him up to a branch. All fluffies scatter in fear but one, the victim fluffies mate and her foals. “Wingie munstah! Pwease gib speshuw fwend back!” The foals also cry for their mother’s mate. The hawk then lands on a branch and holds the fluffy down with one talon that has dug into his flesh. The hawk begins to peck at the fluffy’s side and the fluffy begins to cry out “biggest owwies!” The hawk rips out the fluffy’s liver, then a kidney, then more chunks of flesh until the fluffy dies of organ failure. Stated, the hawk then pushes the fluffy off the branch. Its corpse hits multiple branches on the way down until it lands and the mare and her foals begin to cry at his corpse. The mare then is snatched up by a bald eagle and the cycle repeats. The video then shows a clip of two ospreys fighting over a filly midair. It should be noted that not all Raptors kill fluffies by consumption, sometimes they simply drop them. The osprey continue to fight until they drop the filly into the brackish water below. She screams and shouts until she drowns and disappears under the tea-like waters of the estuary. The video then shows a clip of a bald eagle migrating high in the air. The fluffy it is carrying then shits so hard it startles the eagle and it drops it. The video zooms in as the fluffy splats on the abandoned parking lot below. (Video ends) Alligators: These ancient predators are a fluffy’s worst nightmare because it is a “wawa munsta” that can exit the water and kill them. It is immensely rare for an alligator to hunt on land. They are almost entirely ambush predators, laying low in the water, hidden until a land animal needs to take a drink so it can immediately bite the prey’s head and pull it into the water. Such a perfect strategy is why alligators have been relatively unchanged since the time of dinosaurs. Such a strategy is perfect to eat fluffies, to no surprise. However, why wait? Alligators will leave the water, charge at a herd and scoop up one that did not run away in time. If they see trapped fluffies, they can devour multiple. (Video starts) There is a large abandoned Olympic sized swimming pool that has essentially turned into a marsh. Ten fluffies have entered the pool on the shallow end where sediment pile up from draining rainwater has made a ramp. They waddle to the diving well of the pool which has become a small pond within itself. The fluffies begin to drink from the pondwater and a massive alligator from the kiddie pool scurries into the pool marsh. The fluffies finally see her but it is too late. The walls of the pool got them trapped and the alligator blocks the only way out. The alligator slowly gets them to back up into the corner of the pool as they meekly cry and whine and shit. She lunges forward and bites one, then a second, then another! She shallows 3 fluffies down as they scream and defecate. The rest of the herd use this time to escape. However, more alligators enter the marsh pool as their cries altered the whole waterpark. A new video clip starts to show off how some mares will sacrifice foals to save themselves. A mare is cornered in a sewer as a 50cm juvenile alligator hisses and harasses the mare. The foal on her back shouts “Mummah! make wawa munsta go 'way!” She lets out a sad cry “Am sowwy bestes' babbeh.” And drops the foal on the ground, the alligator scoops it up as the mare escapes. (Video ends) Seagulls: Alone they can eat a foal, but a flock can peck a lone adult to death and eat small chunks of them. Those are all the native fluffavores we have for today. Next log we will talk about defective robots that are scattered throughout the Neverglades. And how their glitched programming makes them a threat to fluffies… unless their programming was to kill them in the first place. Then they are not glitched.
You didn't think this was going to stop did you? I know I've given myself tonnes more work to deal with, but I couldn't not write about the matches in the AdR where we're rating each celeb who hasn't managed to get in the main season tournaments. As always, I'll continue to rate my favourite comments against each match up - so make sure that not only do you vote, but you comment too as you may get some bonus tokens towards those cards needed to enter future card tournaments. As many comments have been regarding the lack of knowledge of some of the celebs, I'll try and include a small amount of info about each one in my first commentary. Consider this a wikipedia copy and plagiarise session :) Top scorer for the first round with 98 votes! Emilie de Ravin vs Olivia Taylor Dudley Emilie de Ravin, who got Lost until 2010, then was found again in Once Upon a Time is a 38 year old Australian actress. Her opponent, Olivia Taylor Dudley, 35, is a USA actress, known for her role in The Magicians, but also interestingly played "Vegas Hooker" in a short comedy titled Ticklish Cage in 2011. Armed with that knowledge, both actresses had a face off in the first ever AdR tournament battle in the history of CBL. Emilie won 77 - 33, climbing 202 places into 43rd. OTD drops 36 into 363rd u/SacasticCynic67 clearly generated the most comments with his controversial post about Beauty's Belle, however as co-founder of CBL and creator of many a card, I doubt he needs the tokens. u/a_v_o_r replied regarding AdR with:
I really liked her Belle and also voting for her for that role. Her acting was really moving, and I'm still salty about what her character had to endure again and again. But I almost chocked reading the rest of your comment, couldn't disagree more.
Markéta Štroblová vs Charlize Theron Markéta, Czech Republic, 33 years old and often credited as Lola or Little Caprice in her movies, is known for spreading herself far and wide as she fulfils many an exciting role. Her opponent, South African Charlize Theron, 45, is an actress and producer known for her roles in Fast and Furious 8, Mighty Joe Young, and the Dior perfume ad. Charlize proved she could cope with Markéta's many thrusting attacks, with the match ending 42 - 98. Markéta drops 224 places into 360th whilst Charlize climbs 52 into 38th place. u/hsikrut
Extremely sexy vs classically beautiful. Charlize with her mesmerizing look should take this by a mile.
Isla Fisher vs Brianna Hildebrand https://preview.redd.it/wpkq67kc76q51.png?width=354&format=png&auto=webp&s=45a8c02175740c3a4025f77f0094ce5db4112180 Perhaps one for me to comment more on tomorrow because unfortunately this match had to close early following a steward's enquiry. It turns out that the photo above was not actually Isla Fisher but a stunning imposter. Therefore in the interests of fairness to Brianna Hildebrand (who I'm sure will be ever so grateful) a rematch is taking place which will close when I get to check the scores in the morning. You can still vote on the match by clicking here If anyone knows who the above is, perhaps she's one we can consider adding in future? u/_Rainmaker_4 posted
I've always found Isla to be cute but that photo may be the best I've seen her look Plus she's a red head Plus she's Aussie Isla takes this one for me
She looked stunning, but it wasn't Isla. That being said, the other 2 reasons were good enough for me! Extra kudos to u/Dojo_Casino for putting in the time and effort to contribute by providing a photo. it isn't his fault that he was duped, as I was too. And also extra kudos to u/Buck_Up_Man for confirming that the photo wasn't Isla so we could get this sorted. Rachel Cook vs Rachael Leigh Cook Rachel Cook is a blue eyed brunette 25 year old model from the United States. Rachael Leigh Cook, who a couple of my friends would argue that she spells her name wrong (they're both Rachels) is a 40 year old actress from the US who, among many other roles, voiced the character Tifa Lockhart from the Final Fantasy series of videogames. This match was the only non-randomly generated one due to confusion between which Rach(a)el Cook was meant to be represented on CBL. Cook beat Cook 80-45 which puts model Rachel Cook up to 49th place as a new entrant whilst Rachael Leigh Cook now sits in 353rd. u/Dojo_Casino
Love me some Rachael Leigh. One of the originators of the nerdy-girl-who's-secretly-hot trope in "She's All That", but my personal favorite is Josie & The Pussycats, actually a really fun little movie parodying the turn-of-the-century pop music scene.
Quote of the Day I aim to pick up the pace so we can run more matches per day, but currently with only four to choose from i've got to say that it's actually tougher. The quality is still there but it's condensed into four matches. I have to say that the comment that piqued my interest is u/Dojo_Casino's post - I will look into Josie & The Pussycats at my earliest opportunity :) CBL World Rankings Top 10 As it stands currently, the top 37 haven't been affected by any changes on the table, which is as expected considering this is phase 1 and we're dealing with the middling celebs. So I'll instead share the highest 10 affected positions: https://preview.redd.it/q3me7v95b6q51.png?width=454&format=png&auto=webp&s=13347b3a98633adfbe4106e6e1c08f70b5f4eea7 What do you think of AdR so far? Are you enjoying the other celebs being included in the rankings more? If you want any of the celebs in AdR or any others that haven't featured yet in the WR, to feature in Season 4, you have the option to guarantee them currently by making a donation via Kofi at https://ko-fi.com/cblmods
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Where the neck turns, the head goes: Recap of Happily Ever After S05E06
Who wants to marry a stupid bitch? Does anyone else need this show this week to salve the seeping wound of 2020? I do. So let’s recap this bitch! Jess is realizing that Larissa’s warning might be truth in reporting, as Debbie flounces around slamming doors, and Colt makes excuses for her by saying that she’s tired, drenched in boob sweat, and thousands of miles from where everything has been exactly the same for forty years. Jess and Colt go out to dinner, and Colt says he got a second hotel room, so they can have sex. Has he mentioned they’re having the sex? Jess tries to suss out why Debbie detonated shortly after hello, and Colt says that she’s over-protective, which is something Jess should know about, since she lost a parent, too. Instead Jess insists that she somehow was able to become an adult anyway, and then calls him a baby man, and he says that’s not fair; he prefers man-baby. Jess is nervous about introducing Colt to her family members, because they’re fun and he’s Colt, but at least there’s only one of him. Oh wait, Debbie. Jess ponders whether getting Debbie shit-faced will inspire a personality to emerge, and Colt just gives her his constipated kitten face, and says sex again. In case you were wondering, Jess and Colt have sex. We revisit this topic when Colt wakes up and goes to fluff his mother. Debbie is eating breakfast, demanding to know why she was left alone in the room after demanding to be left alone in the room. Colt says that they were having sex, and Jess is kind of loud, but there’s no one to rescue her no matter her screams. He asks Debbie to make some effort to know Jess, since Debs reportedly went with him on this adventure in order to meet her. Debbie says that she was barely there an hour and Jess and Colt were already talking about their hypothetical children, and Debbie did not expect Colt to have a future. Colt is starting to think his mother is just there to sabotage he and Jess, and he says, “I understand you’re tired, but you don’t have to be an asshole.” “YES I DO!” Debbie retorts. “I’m done! I’M DONE!” Colt asks what Debbie thinks of Jess so far, and Debbie says, without irony: “I spent ten minutes with her…she seems to have a goal, or a plan.” Colt asks her to get to know her, and Debbie asks if that means leaving the hotel or enjoying herself, and Colt assures her she can just drain the beach of joy instead. Jess knows Debbie is coming by how the temperature drops and the sun starts to darken. Debbie’s cautious, because in her view Larissa used Colt, and the part where Colt used Larissa right back totes didn’t happen. After a few antagonistic growling statements because Colt is in danger of having a life, Debbie says they need to get along, while doing nothing to be friendly. Debs thinks it’s strange that Colt went from one Brazilian to the next, and never considers for a second this is because Colt likes Brazilian women. Jess is now convinced that Larissa was telling her the truth about Debbie. She tries to find some joy in Debbie, and again asserts the importance of getting Debbie drunk. This will not end well. Nancy Reagan should have solicited Debbie’s services for her war on drugs, because no matter your level of intoxication, Debbie will kill your buzz. Good news! Hot lawyer Adam is back, and an unbelievably healthy fiddle leaf fig guest stars from the hallway. Larissa is there to put in a job application, I guess. Larissa is pretty sure Adam’s wife wouldn’t like her as his assistant, due to what she would be assisting him with. She’s hoping to get her charges reduced to disorderly conduct, so she can get the third punch in her domestic violence card later. Adam hopes the camera folks are getting his good angle, which is all of his angles, and is pleased with the surge of business he’s enjoying from people who don’t seem to have any legal problems at all. His wife has questions, sure, but the answer is in that new boat, and sure he’ll do another season. He asks Larissa if she wants to put him on retainer or what, and she says her teeth are fine, so he invoices the producers directly. Larissa and Eric are still pretending to date. The best part of this scene is the unplanned crotch flash that happens when Larissa elegantly crams her hand between her legs to yank the chair forward. Once seated, they hope to have the most boring conversation possible, and they succeed. The only interesting part of this scene is watching Larissa attempt to eat when she can’t feel her lips, which inspires food to dangle helplessly from her lower pucker before taking a dive. Libby is ready to complain for the duration of their wedding venue hunt, and Andrei plans to dust off a fresh batch of insults for the occasion. She’s uneasy about putting Eleanor in car time-out with Father Andrei while they look at a place, especially since they forgot to crack the windows. Andrei calls her OCD, and says in Moldova people don’t suffocate like pussy Americans. Do you think these two know that they’re already married, and this is just extra for Andrei’s family? Will someone tell them? The first venue is a casino strip mall, and Libby hates it before they even arrive. Libby considers the venue a cross between a bowling alley in 1973 and the Louisville airport (present day) — two places more appealing than the backseat of a car driven by these two, and yes, I’d book it. After Libby is done looking around with a disgusted expression, the poor woman showing them around invites them to look at delicious photos of food, which is too extreme of a diet for Libby. Andrei is stoked on the menu, while Libby expresses concern that there isn’t any picnic fare, and not a red SOLO cup in sight. Libby is nervous about her family having to acknowledge that they’re in a different country, so she lies and says Americans have cheeseburgers and fried chicken at weddings, because nothing classes up casino nuptials like greasy food dribbling down your titty-popping dress. Andrei helpfully points out that there’s a McDonald’s across the street, and Libby doesn’t say, “maybe you should pick up a job application,” but she should have. Instead she hunts for a fresh way to express displeasure without actually doing anything about it. Libby declares the venue bullshit, and walks out so they can have an exit fight. She says her family has a lot of concerns…I’ll just leave it at that, since it covers every season of their story. Andrei accuses her of being hangry, and says they should stop and get food, but Libby hasn’t hated this venue enough yet. She pops off about not wanting to book any place where they can’t taste the food first (fair enough), and Andrei says she’s fucking annoying. Libby demands that he stop interrupting her when she’s being annoying, and this inspires him to interrupt her some more, and then again, until Libby walks away in disgust, which is a nice drumroll to her doing whatever this insecure, nutless, knuckle dragger wants in the next scene. Libby says their disagreements are an every day thing, but yes, he’s acting different in Moldova. Why is she working for her dad when she could take this spin to a PR firm? All the same, this fight apparently evaporated into the air, because it’s not mentioned again when they check out venue #2, which looks exactly like the sort of venue Libby would choose. Libby = if Bed, Bath, and Beyond were a person. Andrei = if leather trench coats were a person. They bring out shot glasses of meat and other delicacies, which Libby declares good, and Andrei translates the cost as around $6,400. Andrei then says it doesn’t matter the cost, her dad is going to pay it. This man became entitled in record time, and I suppose this is what happens when your only financial planning is asking dad. Why does she want to marry him once, let alone twice? Was all his responsibility in his old haircut? Andrei, his parents, and Libby are all cramming poor defenseless Eleanor into a stroller. She tries to escape, then realizes she should probably learn to walk first. Andrei shows her the neighborhood where he grew up, and the cameras race to see who can capture the most destitute part first. He said they used to break windows for fun, and Libby is confused, and Andrei says this was just a test to see if she was paying attention. What they really did was roll unguarded construction equipment into the road. They arrive at a park and take a photo by a tree. Apparently, the park is “on the older side” which in the PacNW is considered an asset, but not for Libby’s plastic coated life, and she’s a little bit concerned about germs. Seriously, is this her first kid exposure? My godson at one point licked a metal railing up and down with no pants on, while his sister sat on the ground trying to eat cedar chips. Sure, all the adults around them got sympathetic staph infections, but those two were just fine. Mother Andrei asks if Libby has anything negative to contribute, and of course she does. Father Andrei says even though their “standards are lower compared to America,” they still love their country. Then Libby is asked to say something negative to further alienate Andrei’s family, so she says her family has no filter, because she doesn’t know that passive-aggression is a filter. Mother Andrei doesn’t believe that he planned the wedding last minute so her family couldn’t come, and Libby doesn’t understand why Mother Andrei isn’t on her team, after insulting her country and warning her about how horrible her family is. “This is kind of starting to piss me off,” Low adds, and I concur, Low. I concur. So in the next scene, Libby draws a hard line and HA HA HA good one. After another empty, sassy interview, Libby is ready to convert to the religion she can’t even name, and has zero curiosity about, but hey, let’s laugh at the guy carrying corn. The baptism requires her to dress in white along with a veil, and she asks if the men have to wear them too, because she’s going for superficially empowered “I’m not a feminist, but…” for this round. 1.) You know men don’t have to wear them, stop it. 2.) You don’t have to wear it either. The way you do this, is stop following this chode’s orders. But fuck that! Instead she does a little stand-turn-blow away the devil-turn-splash-Jesus! The priest puts a cross around her neck, and walks in a circle around the table, alongside Andrei’s sister-in-law Ina, who clearly hates Libby. Then the priest cuts off a lock of Libby’s hair, because Paul promised to pay top dollar for that shit. “All of this seems very dated, and I want to be seen on the same level as men,” Libby states. “I don’t want to actually be on the same level, just perceived that way.” Afterwards they all go out for dinner along with Libby’s negativity, so Andrei can offer more of his selective translation services about how men are from mars, women are from Venus. Libby doesn’t wear the cross she was just handed, and the family is concerned because it attaches a guardian angel…which she doesn’t know, because she doesn’t give a shit. Andrei says that goes to show he has to tell her everything. His brother is unimpressed with Andrei’s toxic masculinity, and seems to be noticing that Andrei is compensating for being a housewife by regurgitating man-meat stereotypes, and he should confine that shit to Reddit like a man. Ina thinks gender expectations are fun, and Andrei lies and says he wants to earn money, but Libby convinced him otherwise. She then declares it was Libby’s responsibility to direct Andrei. “Women are the neck and men are the head,” she explains. “Where the neck turns, the head goes.” Andrei translates this as “the man is the brains, and the woman is the neck. The brain chokes the life out of neck, then tells it turn goddammit. Also, blow jobs and football. Monster trucks. Beef. How am I manning?” “My family has always encouraged women to be very independent,” says that woman living off of her father’s money and doing everything her husband says. “I have no self-awareness, and I’ll have to put him in his place!” Libby lies, in sassy. Angela is planning a wedding in a few weeks, and describes it as a job. Michael wakes her up and she starts getting out of bed, and says, “I’m trying to cover my cooter right now.” She is all business, while Michael is horny, probably because she triggered his junk with that super hot cooter line. Angela shows Michael that she got him not one but two suits for the wedding, and he’s shocked at the price of them, and the utter style of the purple suit. He does this weird ecstatic marriage dance on the bed, which is the second awkward dance of the season, so they have to be getting a bonus for these. Either way, it makes Angela laugh, but ha ha ha don’t get too comfortable. Michael is taking her to meet the ex-pats. He’s been hearing about life in America from them, and he’s nervous. Michael explains that they have dual citizenship, which Angela insists on pronouncing “dool.” They warned him about segregation in certain places, and how black folks are routinely executed without trial by police. Angela fails to note that black folks might have a different perspective of American life than hers, and thinks Michael should just watch that July 4th parade on the VHS tape she sent him over and over, until his Murica tank is USA, and his Donald Trump underpants breed in his drawer. Then he says something about her staying in Nigeria instead, and come on dude, she’s got six grandkids she’s caring for a dying mother. “That’s a no for me. Unless I can’t get another season of Happily Ever After, and need to make a play for The Other Way. Then maybe, if I get to spend most of the season deciding.” I see you, Angela. Angela apparently didn’t watch the show last season, because she’s surprised to learn that his friends are women. The minute she sees them she goes from menthols to Lucky Strike, declares their relationship a wrap (again) and gets in the car for more incoherent screaming. Come the fuck on. This dude was dancing on the bed about marrying her fifteen minutes ago. Can’t she just enjoy her relationship already? This leaves all of Michael’s friends shocked, and all of us at home wondering if her storyline is ever going to get more complicated. In their next scene Angela is still exploding, and Michael doesn’t say anything, because what’s the point. “I’m not a stupid woman,” she lies. “Who wants to marry a stupid bitch?” Michael, apparently. She gets a phone call from Skyla, who reports grandma is living in a fantasy world and doesn’t make much sense, which means she and Angela have a lot in common. Angela explains that this is dementia, and Skyla suspects it’s related to Mother Angela pulling out her oxygen the night before. Between the stress and her smoking habits, Angela is on the fast track to a heart attack, and Michael just wants her to calm down. After this phone conversation Angela tells Michael that this is the type of stress she’s been under, and she’s scared she might not see her mother again. This is sort of like apologizing, but not. She tells Michael she still wants to get married, and Michael is happy he’ll live to be verbally battered another day. Asuelu says things are really tense, and no one wants to talk to him because he specifically asked everyone not to talk to him. Low wants to take him for a walk with the dog, so he can show him where he plans to bury his body. He asks Asuelu what’s going on, and Asuelu says that no one is interested in hearing his side. Low knows that Samoan culture is different, and is glad he has that personal experience so they have a better chance of understanding each other. Asuelu says that conversation was all a big misunderstanding, because he meant to call Kalani a bitch at least twice. He adds that sometimes he says things in English that don’t make sense, because he simply doesn’t know English well enough to correct any gaffs. Low says that’s not acceptable, and it ruined Oliver’s birthday party, and there are consequences for behaving that way. Asuelu asks, “Like time-out?” And Low says nope, it’s big-boy danger, like a good old-fashion Samoan ass-whooping, and he needs to apologize to Kalani. Low is getting fed up with the chances he’s given Asuelu, and he says he’s trying his best not to get violent, but he’s going to have to learn how to treat his wife. For his part, Asuelu seems lighter after this conversation, since Low did listen to him before offering advice in a compassionate manner. So he wants to prove to Low that he meant what he said, and will go and apologize to Kalani, and will try to be a better father and husband…when Low is around. Otherwise he plans to pout on a swing set eating a snow cone or something. Syngin calls his brother Dylan, since he just found out Dylan was in the ICU with a blood clot. The clot started after a knee injury, and the clot traveled up to his lungs, which is the last step before it reaches the heart and causes death. Dylan says he’s lucky to be alive, and fuck, this dude is only 25 years old. Syngin says he’s very close to his brother, and he was trapped in the states (alone) on the K-1 when his Gran died, and realizes he’d go crazy if he couldn’t be there for his brother. Dylan admits he’s craving some comforting, and Syngin says he’ll try to figure out a way to travel to South Africa. Dylan asks if he’ll bring Tania, and Syngin isn’t sure, because they’ve been having some problems, and he might be using this trip to disappear forever. Syngin meets with Tania after physical therapy for her own knee injury, and she reveals that the doctor said she should be walking a lot better, so she should probably try to, you know, walk. Syngin confesses he really wants to go to South Africa to be with his brother, but he doesn’t know if their financial limits allow for it. In a shocking twist, Tania 100% understands his need to see his brother, and admits she would respond the same way with her own family, so she’s supportive of his travel plans. This apparently shocks Syngin, too, because instead of stating he’d rather go alone he asks if she’d like to come, and reminds her that she’s his family, too. It’s Tania’s turn to be surprised, since she was thinking what the rest of us at home were: he’s going to bounce. She’s a bit uneasy about joining him, since they’re still having problems, and isn’t flying with a leg injury something that increases the likelihood of a blood clot of her own? I’m not a doctor, but I do know traveling around South Africa with another person literally on your back is a great way to confuse the locals, and all of us at home. NEXT WEEK: Libby’s dad and bro arrive to be verbally abused by ingrate Andrei while Libby makes faces, Paul continues to deliver on the slapstick by dropping an air conditioner out a window, Michael thinks Angela is going to cook and both of them run from a fly-covered goat head, and Debbie drains the marrow of everyone in Jess’ family. Thank you, Patreon supporters! For recaps of The Other Way: patreon.com/fractalfay
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